If you told me ten years ago that I’d be the person who actually enjoys going to the gym—who even looks forward to it—I would’ve laughed in your face. But here we are.
This isn’t one of those “I’ve always been athletic” stories. Nope. This is for all of you who, like me, spent most of your life thinking that fitness was for other people. The naturally sporty ones, the coordinated ones, the ones who actually knew what to do with a dumbbell.
For years (and I mean YEARS) I saw diets and exercise as some kind of punishment. You know the drill: you hate how you look in photos, so you punish yourself with sad salads and treadmill sessions until you reach some magic number on the scale. Then you’re done and can go back to normal life. The problem is: this never worked. Not even once.
💌
never not hungry is a reader-supported publication. to receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
My non-athletic origin story
I wasn't just inactive. I was proudly, stubbornly sedentary for most of my life.
Growing up, sports were like a foreign language in my house. Nobody in my family exercised. And you know what? That shapes you. When movement isn't part of your family culture, when nobody around you values physical activity, it becomes this mysterious thing that other families do. Like going to the opera or eating quinoa. Just not for people like us.
School PE classes? Absolute nightmare. I was always the last one picked for teams. You know that kid who's standing there while team captains argue about who has to take them? Yeah, that was me. Every. Single. Time. And let me tell you, that stuff stays with you. When you're consistently chosen last, your brain starts making connections: sports = humiliation, physical activity = not for me. Better to just avoid the whole thing.
I genuinely believed you needed special abilities to do sports. Like some genetic lottery I clearly hadn't won. In my mind, athletic people were born different. They had coordination, strength, natural talent. Me? I could barely run to catch the bus without feeling like my lungs were going to explode.
And let's talk about beauty standards for a second. I grew up in the 90s and hit my teenage years in the early 2000s. If you were there, you know what I'm talking about. Kate Moss, heroin chic, size zero everything. The message was clear: the skinnier, the better. Exercise wasn't about being strong or healthy, especially for women. It was purely about burning calories and getting as small as possible.
The weird thing was that I was naturally thin. You'd think that would make things easier, right? Wrong. Being thin without exercising just reinforced this toxic idea that I was "lucky" and didn't "need" to work out. Society basically told me: you're already skinny, so why bother? Meanwhile, I had zero muscle tone, zero stamina, and probably the cardiovascular health of someone twice my age. But hey, I fit into small jeans, so everything was fine.
When things started to (slowly) shift
Something changed when I hit my mid-twenties. Maybe it was seeing my metabolism slow down, or maybe I was just tired of feeling weak and tired all the time. I decided to give this whole fitness thing a try.
But even though I was trying something new, my brain was still stuck in those old toxic patterns. My goals? Be as skinny as possible. My strategy? Eat as little as possible.
I was what they call skinny-fat—thin but with basically no muscle and a pretty high body fat percentage for my weight. My body was essentially made of bones, skin, and whatever fat I had. Muscle? What muscle?
I remember walking into a gym for the first time around age 25. I wanted a toned body (whatever that meant), but I was terrified of getting too muscular. Girls, can we talk about how ridiculous this fear is? I was acting like I might accidentally wake up looking like a bodybuilder. As if women can just accidentally pack on massive amounts of muscle while casually doing some bicep curls.
Of course, I didn't get the results I wanted. How could I? I wasn't really training properly, and I definitely wasn't eating enough. I was probably consuming something ridiculous like 1200 calories a day because every women's magazine told me that was the magic number for weight loss. Nobody mentioned that eating too little basically tells your metabolism to slow down to survival mode. Your body literally thinks you're in a famine and holds onto every calorie for dear life.
I spent years in this cycle. Try a new diet, do some half-hearted cardio, see no results, give up. Try fat-burning pills (don't judge, we've all been there), do a juice cleanse, see no results, give up. Join a gym in January, stop going by February. Rinse and repeat.
Then, about five years ago, something clicked. I was 37, and I was just... done. Done feeling weak. Done being exhausted all the time. Done with my body composition. I wanted to feel strong. I wanted endurance. I wanted to actually see some muscle definition when I flexed (yes, I tried flexing even though there was nothing to flex).
This was when everything started to shift. I realized that if I wanted real results, I needed to stop following random Instagram workouts and actually understand how the body works. So I started researching. Like, really researching. Reading studies, watching educational content, learning about muscle protein synthesis, progressive overload, and all these concepts I'd never heard of before.
And this is when I discovered a whole new world of fitness content that completely changed my perspective. YouTube channels and fitness creators who were actually talking sense, explaining why building muscle matters, why women need to lift heavy things, why protein isn't just for bros at the gym. They weren't selling quick fixes or magic pills. They were talking about science, about longevity, about how muscle mass affects everything from your metabolism to your bone density to how well you'll be able to get off the toilet when you're 80.
And suddenly, I became obsessed. Not with being skinny, but with getting strong. With building actual, visible, functional muscle.
That's when my real training journey began. That's when everything changed.
The strategies and tools that actually worked
This transformation didn't happen overnight. We're talking about five years of showing up at the gym 4-5 times a week. No magic pills, no 30-day transformations, no "one weird trick." Just consistency, some major mindset shifts, and yes, eating way more than I ever thought I should.
And let me be clear about something. All the strategies I'm about to share only worked because I actually did them. You can read all the fitness articles in the world, save every workout plan, buy all the supplements, but if you don't take action, nothing changes.
The magic isn't in the perfect program or the optimal macro split. It's in showing up. It's in taking that first terrifying step into the gym. It's in cooking that meal instead of ordering takeout for the hundredth time. Knowledge without action is just entertainment. The only thing that creates change is actually doing the work, even when it's messy, even when you're not sure you're doing it right.
Just start. The rest will follow.
1. Understanding where I was and setting realistic goals
The first thing I had to figure out was what the hell I actually wanted. Without a clear goal, you're just spinning your wheels, jumping from one workout trend to another, never seeing real results.
My advice is to start small. Don't try to change your entire life in one week. Pick one or two goals and build from there.
When I started training seriously, my goal was simple: change my body composition. I wanted to flip that skinny-fat situation I mentioned earlier. Build muscle, lose fat, actually see some definition when I looked in the mirror.
But I knew aesthetic changes take time. Like, a *LOT* of time. So I did something that probably saved my entire fitness journey. I shifted my focus. Instead of obsessing over how I looked, I decided to focus on how I felt.
And wow, the difference was almost immediate. Within weeks, I was sleeping better, actually sleeping through the night instead of tossing and turning. My mood improved dramatically, and I found myself being more patient and positive throughout the day. Even simple things like carrying groceries or climbing stairs became easier.
This mental shift was everything. It kept me going back to the gym day after day, even when I couldn't see physical changes yet. Going to the gym became less about punishment and more about taking care of myself. It became enjoyable. Yes, I said it. Enjoyable.
Once the habit was locked in, when going to the gym felt as automatic as brushing my teeth, that's when I thought it was time to work on that body transformation I originally wanted.
2. Adjusting my nutrition (aka properly fueling my body)
Here's the thing nobody wants to hear: you can't out-train a bad diet. Trust me, I tried. For years.
But before we dive into this, let me say that what I'm about to share is for people who have specific physique goals. If you just want to eat healthier or feel better, you might not need all of this. But if you want to actually change your body composition, keep reading.
You cannot build muscle if you're not eating enough. I need to repeat this because it's so important. And girls, we've been programmed to eat like birds for so long that eating enough might shock you. Once I started actually feeding my body what it needed, everything changed. My workouts got better, I recovered faster, and I started seeing muscle definition.
To build muscle, you need about 1.6 to 2.2 grams of protein per kilogram of body weight. Now, the exact amount depends on various factors like your training intensity, age, and goals, but if you want solid results, staying within this range is your best bet. For me, at 55 kilos, that meant eating 88-120 grams of protein daily. When I first calculated this, I nearly fell off my chair. That seemed like SO MUCH food!
Now, I work with a nutritionist to dial in my nutrition—best investment ever, by the way. But I know not everyone can afford that right now, so let me share what I learned about doing it yourself.
Yes, you'll need to weigh your food. Yes, you'll need to track your calories. Apps make this super easy though. And no, this doesn't mean living on chicken breast and sweet potatoes for the rest of your life. With a little knowledge, you can eat delicious, varied meals and still hit your goals.
The magic of tracking
The first step was figuring out my basal metabolic rate (you can calculate yours using this Basal Metabolic Rate Calculator), basically how many calories I burn just existing. This helped me understand how much I should actually be eating and how to split up my macros (proteins, carbs, fats). There's a whole world of bulking (eating in a surplus to build muscle) and cutting (eating in a deficit to lose fat) that I'll dive into in a dedicated nutrition article, but the key point is this: I had to eat more to see results.
And I also started weighing myself regularly. I know for some people this can be triggering. But the scale is just data. It doesn't tell you everything, like how much of that weight is muscle versus fat, but combined with how my clothes fit and what I saw in the mirror, it helped me track progress and adjust my approach.
But here's what I learned about tracking after years of trial and error:
You don't need to be perfect from day one. When you're starting out, just focusing on eating enough protein and training consistently will get you some results. You'll see changes, especially if you're a beginner.
But here's the catch: those initial gains will plateau. If you're serious about changing your body composition, tracking becomes essential. Not forever, but at least long enough to understand what you're actually eating.
Think of it as a learning phase. Track for a few months, learn what portions look like, understand your patterns, then you can ease off once you've built that knowledge. But when progress stalls or you want to level up, you'll need to go back to tracking to adjust your strategy.
My essential tracking toolkit
Kitchen scale: If I had to pick one thing that changed the game, this is it. You think you know what 100g of chicken looks like? You don't. Trust me. A kitchen scale takes all the guesswork out of portion sizes and makes tracking accurate. Without it, you're basically playing nutritional roulette.
Body weight scale: Remember, this is for data collection, not for self-worth. Weight fluctuates daily (water, hormones, that salty dinner last night), but tracking the overall trend over weeks and months gives you valuable information about whether your approach is working.
Phone camera: Progress photos are everything. I know, I know, taking photos of yourself in workout clothes feels awkward. Do it anyway. The scale might not move for weeks, but photos will show you the muscle definition appearing, the posture improving, the confidence growing. Take them in the same lighting, same poses, once a week.
Calorie tracking app: You need one. Period. I use MyFitnessPal because it's free and has basically every food ever created in its database. MacroFactor and Foodvisor are also solid options if you want something different. Pick one, learn how to use it, and be consistent. It's like having a nutrition coach in your pocket.
3. Getting over my fear of heavy weights
If you want to change your body, those cute 2-kg pink dumbbells aren't going to cut it. I'm not saying you need to deadlift a car on day one, but you need to challenge yourself. Whatever your maximum capability is, you need to work towards it.
I wish someone had told me earlier how crucial lifting heavy weights is for women over 30. After our thirties, we start losing muscle mass naturally (it's called sarcopenia, and it's not fun). We're talking about 3-8% muscle loss per decade. The only way to fight this? Build muscle.
Those light weights might make you sweat, but they won't build the muscle you need to keep your metabolism firing, your bones strong, and your body functional as you age.
And before you panic about getting bulky, we don't have enough testosterone for that to happen accidentally. What heavy weights will do is give you definition, strength, and that toned look everyone's after. Plus, the heavier you lift, the more calories you burn even at rest, because muscle is metabolically expensive to maintain. It's literally the best anti-aging tool we have.
You don't need a new workout every week, you need structure
For years, I was that person doing random workouts from Instagram. Monday would be some influencer's "booty burn" routine. Tuesday would be a different influencer's "ab blast." Wednesday was anyone's guess. And the result was zero progress.
Your body needs consistency to adapt and grow. If you're constantly switching things up, your muscles never get the chance to actually develop. The game-changer for me was following a structured program and sticking with it for weeks, even months. Same exercises, same structure, just gradually increasing the weight or reps.
Repetition leads to perfection. Pick a program and stick with it.
The secret sauce: progressive overload
Your body is smart. It adapts. Once it figures out how to handle those 5-kg dumbbells, it stops building muscle. Progressive overload is the actual secret sauce. It means gradually making your workouts harder over time. And no, this doesn't mean completely changing your routine (we just established that's counterproductive). It means taking the same exercises and making them progressively more challenging.
This can look like:
Adding 2 kilos to your squat every week or two
Going from 8 reps to 10 reps with the same weight
Improving your form and going deeper in your movements
Reducing rest time between sets
Adding an extra set
For me, tracking this was crucial. I literally kept a notebook where I wrote down every weight, every set, every rep. Sounds obsessive? Maybe. But without tracking, you're just guessing. With tracking, you're building.
The beauty of progressive overload is that it's measurable proof that you're getting stronger, even when the mirror isn't showing changes yet. Those numbers don't lie. When you're consistently adding weight to the bar, you are building muscle, even if you can't see it immediately.
The tools that made lifting feel less scary
Unlike nutrition, where I hired a professional, I've never had a personal trainer for my workouts. When I got serious about strength training, I bought a program from a fitness creator I trusted. Eventually, she launched an app, and I switched to that. Since then, I've tried several apps, but my favorites are:
Evolve You by Krissy Cela: Super well-designed with different training styles. The Strong program is perfect for beginners, and Gain is my go-to for building muscle.
Gains by Brains by Sophie van Oostenbrugge: I've been using this since it launched last year. All her programs focus on strength training with proper periodization. My faves are Transform and Hourglass (glute focused).
Yes, these apps cost money. But if you can't afford a personal trainer right now, they're the best investment you can make. After years of trial and error, and a strength coach certification on the way, I'm now confident enough to program my own workouts. But these apps helped me a lot in the beginning because they allowed me to walk into the gym knowing exactly what to do, following a structured program—and that structure was crucial for my progress.
If you're really nervous about starting alone, consider hiring a personal trainer for just a few sessions to learn proper form and how the machines work. Once you feel confident, you can switch to apps. Of course, if you can afford a PT for every session, that's amazing and you should absolutely do it!
The bottom line (or what I wish I knew years ago)
I could write about this stuff for hours, and I will. Nutrition and training deep-dives are coming soon. But let me leave you with this:
The biggest change wasn't in my body. It was in my mind. When I stopped seeing exercise as punishment and started seeing it as medicine, everything shifted. When I stopped trying to eat as little as possible and started fueling my body properly, I got stronger. When I stopped fearing weights and started challenging myself, I finally saw changes.
There's no magic pill. No secret strategy. No shortcut. It's just showing up, day after day, even when you don't want to. It's eating enough protein even when you're full. It's adding weight to the bar when last week's weight starts feeling easy.
Five years ago, I couldn't do a single push-up. Today, at 42, I'm deadlifting more than my body weight and feeling like an absolute badass. If someone who spent 37 years avoiding exercise can do this, trust me, you can too.
The truth is, it's never too late to start. Your body is incredibly adaptable, even in your forties, fifties, and beyond. You just need to give it the right tools: consistent training, proper nutrition, and most importantly, patience with yourself.
I hope my story inspires you to make that change too. If you're looking for straightforward advice on getting stronger, feeling better, and maybe even surprising yourself with what you're capable of, stick around. This is just the beginning.
💖 Find me elsewhere (Instagram, Pinterest, Spotify)
Great article and info. Inspired me to bring back routines I did when working out with a trainer a couple of years ago-kitchen scale, tracking, heavy weights, protein and consistency! It works and this motivated me to get back to it on my own. Will definitely check out the apps you recommended-TY!
Love this — really solid info! I’m building a page called Rational Wellness where we talk physiology, wellness, and practical habits. If that vibe fits you, please come check it out, thanks!