“how to become a gym girl” is a little series i’m putting together for those of you who want to start going to the gym but feel stuck before you even begin. if that’s you, i hope this makes taking that first step feel a little easier ♡
trust me, nobody is born a gym girl. i know it looks that way from the outside. you see women walking into the weight room like they own the place, loading up a barbell without hesitation, moving through their session like they have been doing it forever. but at some point, every single one of them was exactly where you are now. confused, a little intimidated, wondering if people were staring at them.
a few years ago i walked into a gym for the first time in my life. i spent my first session doing random machines in whatever order i found them, wiping each one down like my life depended on it, and leaving after 30 minutes because i felt like i did not belong. that was my start. it was not cute, and nobody would have looked at me and thought “she’s a gym girly.”
but i went back. and then i went back again, and again, and again. and that is the whole thing, really.
if the gym feels like a foreign country right now, good. that means you are paying attention. it is a new environment with unwritten rules, equipment you have never used, and people who seem to know exactly what they are doing. of course it feels uncomfortable.
the thing nobody tells you is that most people in the gym are not watching you. they are between sets, looking at their phone, thinking about their next exercise, or trying to remember if they did 3 sets or 2. you feel visible because you are hyper-aware of being new. that fades, i promise. it took me about two weeks before i stopped feeling like everyone was judging me, and about a month before the gym started feeling like a place i actually wanted to be.
💌
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a few things that make the beginning easier
📝 go in with a plan. even a simple one.
knowing you are going to do 4 exercises before you walk through the door removes the anxiety of standing there wondering what to do next.
(you can use one of the beginner templates from my article on programming your workouts)
or find any basic full body routine and follow it for a few weeks. the specific exercises matter less than having a structure.
🎀 if the free weights area feels like too much at first, start with machines.
machines guide your movement, so the risk of doing something wrong is low. they also have instructions printed on them, which is more than most dumbbells can offer. you can transition to free weights once you feel more comfortable with the movements.
⏰ go at quieter times if it helps.
early mornings, mid-afternoon, or late evening tend to be less crowded. having more space and fewer people around can make a big difference when you are still finding your footing. this is not a permanent strategy, just training wheels until you stop caring.
🎧 put your headphones on.
a good playlist or podcast creates a bubble around you that makes everything feel less exposed. it also signals to other people that you are in your zone, which tends to keep unsolicited advice to a minimum.
🦋 and give yourself a real chance.
not three days, not one bad week. at least four weeks of consistent sessions before you decide whether this is for you. the first two weeks are adaptation. your body is learning, your brain is adjusting, and everything feels harder than it will eventually be. the version of the gym that you will learn to love does not reveal itself on day one.
you do not need to feel like you belong before you start
this is the part that most women get backwards. you do not need the right clothes, the right shoes, the right level of fitness, or the right body. you become a gym girl by going to the gym. that is it. the identity follows the action, not the other way around.
there is no entrance exam. there is no minimum strength requirement. there is no moment where a light switches on and you suddenly feel ready. you start before you are ready, you keep showing up, and one day you realize you have not thought about whether you belong in weeks. because by then, you just do.
i still remember the first time i walked into the weight room without hesitating at the door. it was not because i had gotten strong or because i finally looked the part. it was just because i had been there enough times that my body walked in on autopilot.
repetition did what confidence could not.
so if you are reading this from your couch, wondering if you should sign up, or if you already have a membership but keep finding reasons not to go, here is your sign. go once. then go again. that is all it takes to start.
thanks for reading,
—glicia ⋆˚✿˖
P.S. if you think this was useful, tap the ❤️, drop a comment, and share it with someone who needs to hear it.
read the other posts in this series
about the writer
i’m glicia, a personal trainer and nutrition student based in paris. i’m the person behind never not hungry, a newsletter about getting stronger, eating actual food (yes, with carbs!), and making fitness a little less complicated. when i’m not writing, i’m designing workout programs, trying overpriced cafés, reading romantasy, or lifting heavy things. welcome to my little corner of the internet. i hope you’ll stay.
The reminder that the identity follows the action, not the other way around, is so good. And normalizing that first awkward month where everything feels foreign is exactly what people need to hear. Excited to see the rest of this series :)
For me, the most difficult part of my fitness journey has been consistency and motivation. The hardest part at times truly is just showing up and following through. There are days I can knock out ten machines, and then there are days I can only knock out three or four. I keep going because I truly feel good afterwards, but it's a bit like getting up after being knocked out on the mat by the twentieth.
Accountability only goes so far, but I still keep trying to show up.